1. Barbecue Sauce
If this arrives as a shock to you, you need professional assistance. Check your labels, because something like Stubbs BBQ sauce is going to be better to its implementation of salt, carbohydrate, and high fructose corn syrup than something like Kraft( ew ). You could construct your own if youre seem daring. Otherwise, we opt for hop-skip the tomato based stuff and going for a vinegar and pepper sauce instead.
Okay, hear us out on this oneit isnt so much that burgers themselves are bad. But once you start adding on the bun, the cheese, the flavorings, etc ., you have a intestine bomb. A 4 oz. burger is around 280 calories; a bun is about 140 calories; a slice of cheese is about 100 calories etc. If you must indulge, reach for a lettuce wrapping or put your burger over some greens. V not chill, but a betch has to do what a betch has to do.
A 4 oz bratwurst will set you back around 300 calories. Thats without the bun and needed flavorings. AND that isnt taking into account the outrageous sodium content which will result in you seeming super bloated. If youre searching for a dick-shaped meat( ya freak ), grab an all-beef hot dog and be done with it.
4. Fried Chicken
Do I need to explain this to you? Anything thats coated in buttermilk, flour, butter, and spices and or some combo of that shit, then deep-fried isnt going to do you any favors when you step on the scale tomorrow. Opt for a plain grilled part of chicken if youre craving poultry.
5. Potato Salad
Potatoes arent good for you. They candidly shouldnt even has become a vegetable. When you cook a starchy potato and mingle it with hard simmered eggs, relish, mayonnaise, salt, pepper, and God knows what else, youre testing the true expansion powers of your shorts. An average potato salad at an 8 oz segment has 21 grams of fat and 300 calories. Call the Special Victims Unit: This is an offense that’s especially heinous.
6. Macaroni Salad
As with our fat friend potato salad, pasta salad is on our shit list, too. Cooked white pasta, which has little to no nutritional value, plus a mayo-based sauce equals anywhere from 300 -5 00 calories per beaker depending on how much cheese and other shit is in that unholy side dish. Opt for a vinegar-based pasta salad if its on the table/ if you need it to survive.
The summer barbecue is not the place to show off your shot-gunning abilities. Beer will bloat you, plainly. Although, if you need the beer to numb your moods, opt for a light one. Grab a Coors Light or a Corona over the dark Guinness or Amber Ales. Really though, if someone brought Guinness to a barbecue, you need to call the police.
Just , no. Greasy Lay’s? Pass. About 18 chips determines you back 120 calories. Id rather have a 100 calorie beer or vodka soda, personally. But you do you.
9. Ice Cream
Many barbecues end with either a plate of brownies or a journey to the freezer for a good ol fashioned ice cream saloon. Skip that shit. If you need an icy repair, grab a fruit popsicle and stick it in your vodkabut not before you check out our amazing combos here.
Like Ive said before, ranch is the goddamn demon. A quarter beaker, which you could easily ingest if youre standing and dunking every part of celery into this shit, weighs in at 220 calories and 22 grams of fat. Considering we do not lives in the fictional Hidden Valley where everyone fees ranch on everything and no one gains a pound, you need to trench this shit instantly.