Single. 23 years old. Father of a soon-to-be second grader. Thats me.
I realize not every girl in the world wants to date a single papa in his 20 s; its not everyones cup of tea, and thats OK. Perhaps you think a young guy of being responsible like that wouldnt have hour for you. Perhaps youre are concerns that his children mother will always be hiding about, inducing you troubles. Perhaps youre concerned about taking on that kind of responsibility yourself.
Well, for any daring lady out there who would see fit to date a guy like me a young dad which continued to figuring things out himself I give a few bits of advisory opinions and, potentially, information to dispel some dreads you may have tocommitto such a situation.
Heres what I would want a woman thinking about dating me to know 😛 TAGEND
1. If Were Together, Youre Obviously Important, But My Son Has to Be Number One
I could be wrong, but I belief one of the biggest worries of dating a single dad is that you wont be his top priority. While this is more or less true, it doesnt mean you deficiency important , nor does it entail there has to be some kind of rival for attention.
Love for a child and desire for a romantic spouse are obviously not the same thing, and they can co-exist without issue. Youre genuinely only second priority in one situation: when you throw out the me-or-them ultimatum.
If you are both serious about each other and can handle things in a ripen manner, there doesnt need to be any nitpicking about where you stand in their own lives. People make time for the most important thing and people in “peoples lives”, and if youre important, youll know.
2. My Childs Mother is Always Going to Be Part of my Life Its Not a Cause for Concern
This is probably right up there with the previous level on the oh-boy-I-dont-know-if-I-could-deal-with-that scale. Yes, I am ever going to be in contact with my sons mother; we have to make co-parenting study somehow.
But thats all we do: talk about him. There is no chance we will ever be romantic with each other again( trust me ), and she will simply ever be on the periphery to its implementation of you and me. To be perfectly honest, the only periods Ive understood her for more than a few minutes in the past few years havebeen at my sons birthday parties and when we go trick-or-treating on Halloween.
It probably helps that shes not batshit crazy or anything, too.
3. That Told, There Are Moving to Be Hour Where She and I Get Into Statements and Ill Need You to Remind Me Everything Will Be Fine
People you used to date have a habit of get under your scalp. Everybody known to be. The difference when you have a child with one of your ex-partners is that they are not so easy to ignore. Like I said above, its genuinely not an option.
There may be days where I am fuming over something my sons mother has said to me or accused me of, and the best thing you can do in those minutes is just be there for me.
Im not asking you to provide a solution for whatever the situation is a possibility. Just reassure me youre on my side( or, if I genuinely was being a bonehead, maybe let me down gently ).
4. Ill Be Hesitant to Introduce You to My Son Until Things Are More Serious
This is better for everyone. You may have your reservations about satisfying their own children before you get to know me better( altogether plausible ), and I will have my reservations about introducing person I am romantically shall include participation in to my son until I know that that person will be staying around for awhile.
Its all about avoiding the revolving door the notion of introducing your kids to someone simply to have such person or persons exit their own lives shortly thereafter, and then operating through a rinse and recur sort of process. Not good.
5. But, If Its Going to Last, Youll Have to Build a Relationship with Both of Us Over Time
Of course, Ill want you to like my kid when you do eventually fulfill him. The two of us, were a package, and things probably arent going to work out if you merely like 50 percent of that package. If things are particularly running along smoothly, Id sure hope you would come to desire my son.
And, frankly, I cannot are talking about all the other single dads out there, but my child is fairly freaking awesome even if he does act like a little sassafras sometimes so this one wouldnt be too much of an issue in my case.
6. Youll Have to Accept I Have Responsibilities That May Interfere with Our Plans Sometimes
Unexpected things may pop up a medical emergency or an appointment his mommy forgot to tell me I was taking him to until the last minute, for example and I may have to jump ship on a date with you or cancel programmes so that I can go be a dad.
Especially while hes younger, as he is now, its important for me to be there when he needs me.
I want him to be able to look back when hes older and know with 100 percentage confidence that he ever had my assistance, ever had my enjoy could ever count on me to be around when it mattered most.
7. Im Not Exactly Into Messing Around Anymore, So Lets Not
Lets cut with the games, cut with the silliness, and take things severely. Only as our children require a certain sense of stability, thats what Im looking for in a relationship now.
And Im not mentioning lets take fun and spontaneity out of the equation; Im all for spur-of-the-moment adventures and traveling and those sorts of things. Im mentioning, lets be honest, open, and loyal to each other. Im mentioning, lets be direct about what we want.
Dating a single papa in his 20 s know it sounds a little scary, but it truly doesnt have to be. Dedicate the guy a chance, hey? You may only stumble into one of the most worthwhile and fulfilling relationships of a lifetime.