1. Mr. Purple( LES)
Ah, my favorite place to go to and forget the fact that I have the same income as my G Little who just graduated from college two weeks ago. If you havent been to this saloon yet then I seem sad for you and the life you contribute because you are missing out on a fun fucking time. Its boujee AF and located on the roof of a hotel Id probs have to sell my eggs on the black market just to be able to render their cheapest room. The panoramas are the best Ive seen in NYC and thats mentioning a lot because I pride myself in being a person that
is vexing AF on Instagram frequents rooftop saloons. Plus in the summer this place gets v exclusive when they open the pool. Basically, its the perfect place to debut your new Bad Betch one part and also feel rich AF.
2. The Standard Beer Garden( Meatpacking)
If youre looking to day booze with old AF frat bros in khakis then youre in luck, girlfriend, since this place is the mecca for white dudes looking to reclaim their lost youth. I desire it here. Located directly beneath the High Line, it feels tucked away from all the riling AF sightseers walking around while also maintaining the allure of the meatpacking district. Its a good spot day or nighttime to booze beers that weigh more than my winter torso weight and still feel somewhat classy doing it.
3. Night of Joy( Williamsburg)
This place is so blatantly hipster its this close to growing a beard. But, like, its got a gorgeous rooftop so I guess Ill ignore the fact that theres a distinct pretentious douchebaggery to it( or is that sandalwood ?) and that every guy at the bar is wearing a smaller jean sizing than me. And, yes, having a rooftop is the only criteria needed for me to get blackout at an establishment. That and$ 3 cans of Tecate, which they likewise have in spades. Praise be. My only advice is that you dont bring your Urban Outfitters Polaroid camera with you when you go. They wont think youre being cute or ironic, theyll just low-key conspire against serving you at the bar. Which I know from absolutely no its own experience. Just mentioning. Youve been cautioned.
4. The Boat Basin Cafe( UWS)
I know what youre thinking, 79 th street, but yes, it absolutely is. Just dont tell the regulars at this saloon that, lest you be lectured on the real estate market for park adjacent apartments. But if youre willing to
build the journey have your sanity tested by off-peak hours MTA service, then you should def hit up the this place. Your eyes will one hundred percent be assaulted by a crowd of people in pastels and probs grown humankinds wearing rompers but its worth it for the views. The drinks are various kinds of pricey, but then again can we really put world prices on a fire waterfront selfie that will build every boy who follows you on Snapchat jealous? Yes, but only if youre an ex- contestant whoring themselves for Instagram ads.
5. Bohemian Hall& Beer Garden( Astoria)
Speaking of places that are far as shit, Bohemian Hall& Beer Garden is located in Queens, which Ive simply ever been to twice and both hours involved a sassy Uber driver and the G develop.* shudders* BUT its still a solid selection for those working looking to kill their last remaining brain cells over MDW. The indoor section isnt much to be addressed, but the outdoor component is ideal for hurling back beers and forgetting that you just aged five years trekking to Queens. Tbh I blacked out the last day I was there( which seems like the degree) and I dont recollect much other than that their drunk eats were on degree. That feels like reason enough to give this place a( nother) try.
6. Extra Fancy( Williamsburg)
Ive got two words for you: Frozen. Ros. ON TAP. And before “youre starting” some shit with me about how ros is on its way out as everyones favorite summer beverage, I would just like to say that I will fight this one to the end because anything thats pink and looks good on my Instagram story will be a booze I choose in this life and every other. Just mentioning. This place itself is an interesting mixture of uptight hipsters and basic bitches like myself who are only there for their Instagram story. That tell me anything, the space is huge and its got the whole indoor/ outdoor thing going for it in case the climate determined to sabotage your MDW programmes by raining. Likewise, the drinks are v cheap$ 8 for a solo cup of fros( A SOLO CUP) and$ 5 for draft brew and wineso its the perfect place for day drinking and get white daughter wasted enough to scare the hipsters back to the Bushwick artist dens they crawled out of.
HIPSTER: * tries to sell me on some bullshit about not believing in monogamy or labels*
ME : strong>
7. Pod 39 Rooftop( Murray Hill)
This place is bro-y AF and you know Im here for it. The vibe is very Cabo with all of its terra cotta editorial, Mexican-tiled tables, and a menu full of nothing but tacos, tequila, and bad decisions with a guy who’s tall, darknes, and youre drunk enough for him to be handsome. Likewise the guy in question is not one of Mexican but instead a person who had mentions shit like why cant they speak just speak the language. Well we cant have it all, girls. Aside from the clientele, the view is amazing and the margs are inducing me want to write a pleasant examine on Yelp, which are words I never thought would leave my mouth.
8. The Delancey( LES)
Imagine spending hours gladly ingesting
poison Snake Juice, but instead of doing this in some dingy saloon with barely any light and puking lining the bathroom walls where that behavior is socially acceptable* coughing* HAIR OF THE DOG* coughing* youre sitting on a rooftop among white chaise sofas and palm trees. Its a dangerous combining because on the one hand youre get fucked up off of Champagne and vodka that costs more than your internet bill, but on the other hand the set is inducing you feel more entitled than Paris Hilton in a tracksuit.
^ literally me last Saturday
This place is legit ground zero for drunk texting your ex and picking a fight with your bestie in a public bathroom. Its truly quite lovely. Make this place up Sunday through Thursday from 5-7pm for happy hour and also if youre feeling like defining fire to your personal life.