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Summer is for one thing and one thing merely: getting skinny and discovering enjoy. Okay, so thats two things. Likewise, getting tan. Thats three things. Okay, so summertime is about those three things and nothing else. While getting skinny and tan is up to you( dont feed, stand in the sun ), your love life is determined by one factor that is totally beyond your control( which is why its wholly not your mistake when youre being psycho ): the arbitrary placement of the stars and planets as they correspond to the date and period of your birth. So will you play the field the summer months, or fall in legitimate enjoy? It all depends on Venus. Please direct all of your anger her behavior when the guy you simply told your BFF you were in love with ghosts you and moves to Canada. Im simply the messenger.


Lucky for you, Aries, Venus is in your true love house from June 5 to October 8th, means that your summertime hookup may actually be transformed into like, a real thing. Get ready for a playful, passionate, and highly romantic summertime, but beware: trust issues abound. Defy the recommend to steal his telephone and screenshot every questionable text, because on August 8th, BSCB Mars will be all up in your shit trying to stir drama, but dont fucking let him. Or do. Sometimes drama is fun. Thats your call. Likewise, dont be alarmed if you find yourself haphazardly attracted to hipsters this summer. You want a beard and a band. Dont think about it. Just let it happen. August 14 ths new moon will bring you big news, like maybe hipster bae has decided to leave his organic bird-dog treat startup for a real occupation. Embrace it.

Signs To Bring Home To Mom: Leo, Sagittarius, Aquarius
Signs Whose Numbers Should Be Blocked : strong> Cancer, Capricorn, Pisces


This summer is all about your two favorite things: getting cozy and being cold AF. If youre already in a relationship, June is the perfect period for you two to settle in and binge all those presents in your joint Netflix queue. This is also a good time to present bae to your parents, maybe by bringing him along on their own families trip. If youre not in a relationship, youre going to find yourself heavily attracted to boy-or girl-next-door forms. You know, the type of guy who looks like hell recollect your birthday without you even having to fell indications. In July, you could even do the unthinkable and fall in love with someone whom youve previously friendzoned, so be open to such a possibility. Youre going to have a lot of romantic luck between June 6 and July 4th, so youre basically guaranteed a drunk makeout sesh at whatever 4th of July party you attend. Dress accordingly.

Signs To Bring Home To Mom : strong> Virgo, Capricorn, Pisces, Scorpio
Signs Whose Numbers Should Be Blocked : strong> Leo, Aquarius, Aries

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Trust no fuckboy. Gemini, the summer months you have absolutely 0 tolerance for bullshit, which will actually lead to a lessening of interactions drama. Youre over it, and you have to actually give a fuck for drama to result, so lucky you. Youll be in a particularly flirty feeling during your birthday month( May 21 – June 21) so embrace it. Mars will be in your sign trying to kill your vibe until June 24 th, so maybe stick with low-key Tinder matches rather than people you actually care about until Mars has a chance to GTFO. Venus goes into retrograde in your signed off August, which will stimulate you vulnerable to misunderstandings, but never dread because youll be coming out of a romantic high thatll last between July 5th and July 31 st. Use the strong foundation you construct during this luck time to help guide you through your sudden recommend to ready wayyy too deep into his text response time in August. When he says he didnt answer because he was in the rain, believe him.

Signs To Bring Home To Mom : strong> Libra, Aquarius, Aries, Sagittarius
Signs Whose Numbers Should Be Blocked : strong> Virgo, Pisces, Taurus


Good news, Cancer! This summertime is the perfect time to finally get over your ex. The starrings have literally aligned, and Crazy-Ass Mars will be in your house from June 24 -August 8, stimulating you desirable AF. Dont waste that shit on trying to get back together with person from your past; focus on bringing new dick into your life( or vaginahonestly, try anything !). Keep a look out for two full moons on July 1st and 31 st, which could bring a new bae right to your doorstep, but be careful. Hard-Ass Saturn( the narc of the zodiac) is chilling in your house from June 14 -September 17 th, which stimulate stimulate you prone to getting too serious. On the bright side, Saturns presence builds you more open to meeting person through operate. Just hold off on declaring that shit to HR until August, when your luck is likely to be through the roof and theres actually a chance your boss is likely to be cool with it.

Signs To Bring Home To Mom : strong> Scorpio, Pisces, Taurus
Signs Whose Numbers Should Be Blocked : strong> Libra, Aries, Gemini

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Venus expends the entire summertime in Leo, so basically get ready for more plunder calls than you know what to do with. Brush up on some of our sex and blowjob-giving tips-off, because youre going to need them. If youre not already in a relationship by your birthday month( July 22 -August 23 ), this is not the time to get tied down. On July 31 st, one of your many summertime flings may attempt to DTR, but think hard before you perpetrate. Youll probably want to be single at least through the end of August, when The One Who Got Away will make a amaze reappearance in your life.
This no-commitment rule goes for other aspects of your life too. Youre going to be on fire the summer months and you’ll want your evenings free to accept all the many dates that are going to be thrown your behavior, so maybe dont sign up for a five week GRE study group. Save that shit for cuffing season.

Signs To Bring Home To Mom : strong> Sagittarius, Aries, Gemini
Signs Whose Numbers Should Be Blocked : strong> Scorpio, Taurus, Cancer


Hate to break it to you, but this is not your time for love. You can thank Jupiter in your second house for that. On the bright side, your financial predict is through the roof, so maybe be your own bae the summer months? You can buy yourself blooms and chocolate, TBH. When summertime intrigue does go your behavior, dont put pressure on yourself to DTR. A casual summertime fling could become a legit relationship by October if you preserve your chill, and who wants to be in a relationship before October anyway? That being said, June 24 th-August 8th youll find most romantic luck meet new people, so that would be a good time to re-download that dating app of your selection and start swiping away. Venus is in your house for simply one week the summer months July 18 -July 25 th, and could bring rapid passionate developments, making this the perfect period for you to message first. Or use the sudden increase in your checking account to buy a giant platinum vibrator and chill until fall. Your call.

Signs To Bring Home To Mom : strong> Capricorn, Taurus, Cancer
Signs Whose Numbers Should Be Blocked : strong> Sagittarius, Gemini, Leo

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Youre liable to catch sensations the summer months, so be on the lookout for someone who is worthy of told sensations. Venus did a number on your self-esteem by going retrograde from March 4 to April 15 th, but that shit is over now so time to buck up and get back out there. Definitely do not let a slow wintertime lead to lowered criteria. Echo after me, If hes over persons under the age of 30 and does not have a bed frame, its a no from me. If youre in a relationship and it has been on the outs lately, blamed Venus and start again. A simple Im sorry for what I told when Venus was in retrograde will suffice. Likewise, maybe give your SO a heads up that Jupiter will be entering your house on August 11 th, and youre gonna want some alone time. Its nothing personal. The Heavens simply want you to do a face mask and invest the working day re-watching and ignoring text. Its not personal. A full moon on August 29 th will finally “ve brought you” the romantic stability youre looking for, just in time for cuffing season.

Signs To Bring Home To Mom : strong> Aquarius, Gemini, Leo
Signs Whose Numbers Should Be Blocked : strong> Capricorn, Cancer, Virgo


Thanks to hard-ass Saturn, you’re focused more on your job than enjoy right now, entailing youre behavior most likely to click with person you ascertain on the reg than some rando at the bar. Maybe its time to finally ask that cute barista what his deal is? But know this: You have absolutely no room for someone who doesnt have your back. Shit is going too well for you to have to deal with any negativity. Try meeting person at a operate function or a high-end saloon that merely people with their shit together can render. Thatll weed out the losers. If all the prospects in your area are fuckboys, July is the perfect time to search for love( or lust) elsewhere. Book those AirBnB dates now and there could be a hot cabana boy in future developments. If youre already in a relationship, clingy Saturn is going to stimulate you want to scheme the next five years of your life together. Do what the hell are you want, but maybe keep your notebook full of newborn epithets to yourself until August 29, when a full moon will put you at a romantic crest and stimulate him behavior more open to talking flower arrangements for future developments wedding.

Signs To Bring Home To Mom : strong> Pisces, Cancer, Virgo
Signs Whose Numbers Should Be Blocked : strong> Aquarius, Leo, Libra

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TBH, youre more focused on your explosion pal group than your romantic life right now, so if youre single, stay there. But beware of the men in your squadyou may end up falling for one due to your new friend-focused lifestyle. We told you guy pals dont exist. Whoever you choose, do not stand for someone who gets all jealous and needy every time you have a girls night. There will be a lot of them, and you dont necessity the drama. Continue an eye out for whoever you meet on June 6th, when a new moon could kick off your summertime love affair. If youve already got a fling going, May-June is a good time to clear shit up and potentially DTR. With Venus in your house of travel, try looking for love on vacation. Itll be perf because youll know the relationship comes with an terminate date and can simply enjoy yourselves. If you end up in a relationship that lasts through August, beware. Venus goes into retrograde that month and may result in you pushing person away for no reason. Just take a deep breath and remember that simply because a guy doesnt like your selfie within two minutes of posting, it does not mean hes cheating on you. He might be taking a shit. Guys do that.

Signs To Bring Home To Mom : strong> Aries, Leo, Libra
Signs Whose Numbers Should Be Blocked : strong> Pisces, Virgo, Scorpio


Theres genuinely no delicate behavior to throw this, Capricorn: Youre in for a horny summertime. Time to ordering a years furnish of vibrating condoms and to put your gynecologist on hasten dial because you are getting it in. That being said, drama queen Mars is in your matrimony house from June 24 -August 8th, stimulating you both hornies and clingya dangerous combo. With Venus in retrograde in August, it is very important that you dont hurry-up a relationship , no matter how good the sex is. We know you know this, but maybe you should tattoo it on the back of your hand so you dont forget: good sex /= a stable relationship. On August 11 th Jupiter will get in there and lighten up your approach to enjoy, stimulating you more open to taking dangers. Perhaps a foreign fuckboy is in future developments? Merely make sure your new risk-taking horniness doesnt lead to serious lapses in its judgment. Condoms, Capricorn. Condoms. Or else there will be a bad occurrence of herpes in future developments. And not the kind that merely shows up on your mouth.

Signs To Bring Home To Mom : strong> Taurus, Virgo, Scorpio
Signs Whose Numbers Should Be Blocked : strong> Aries, Libra, Sagittarius

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This summer, youre so sick of that same old enjoy and looking for some diversity from your usual rotation of finance bros. I know opposites attract sounds like lame mom advice, but this might actually be true for you. If youre usually into tall guys, maybe try dating person short. If you usually are into hipsters, try dating person with a occupation. Play the field. On June 16 th a new moon in Gemini is opening your usually cold, dead heart, so see where it takes you! A full moon on July 31 st will assist you take risks, and with travel-focused Jupiter in your 9th house, there seems to be the perfect period for a solo vacation. Perhaps its finally period for your own follow-up: Drink, Post, Bang. TBH it voices better than the original.

Signs To Bring Home To Mom: Gemini, Libra, Sagittarius
Signs Whose Numbers Should Be Blocked : strong> Taurus, Scorpio, Capricorn


Guess what Pisces, youre gonna be a – fucking bitch the summer months. With Mars in your house of intrigue from June 24 -August 8th, you basically have no choice but to find a human( or three, or four, maybe also a girl) and terrorize him for three full months. Its not your mistake. Its simply the stars. That being said, be sure to take your chiller pals advice and run all fuckboy ruining schemes by them. Theyll be able to help you determine which actions are fun-crazy, and which actions are jail-crazy. Telling him to come over and then falling asleep as a test is fun crazy. Telling him to come over and then dousing him with gasoline is not. You may think you ascertain the distinction now, but come terminate of June this line will be fuzzy for you. All that being said, Jupiter will be in your matrimony house on 8/ 11, so youll seem the sudden recommend to throw a ring on it. Steer clear of Vegas. A full moon in your sign will help to restore your decision making abilities by August 29 th, and then youll be able to re-enter civilization. If youre still looking for love after reading this, be kept in mind that Venus is in your house of services that are, so youre more likely to meet person while volunteering or participating in some other nice-girl activity. Perhaps try donating your skis to the Pismo Beach Disaster Relief? I heard those people lost everything, including athletic equipment.

Signs To Bring Home To Mom : strong> Cancer, Scorpio, Capricorn
Signs Whose Numbers Should Be Blocked : Gemini, Sagittarius, Aquarius

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