PinExt - Venus Is Making You Thirsty AF: Your Weekly Horoscopes May 22-27

Can Twitter dishonor Billy Bush into committing $10 million to women’s charities? shutterstock 514795867 - Venus Is Making You Thirsty AF: Your Weekly Horoscopes May 22-27

Summer is upon us, meaning that it’s time to figure out how exactly you’ll be constructing the next three months the best summer of their own lives. Will this be the summer you strike gold and become wealthy AF? Or will you use the unbelievable beach bod you’ve been sculpting to discover yourself rolling in the Tinder D ? It’s up to you. Well, actually, it’s not. It’s up to the stars, and more particularly, the placement of the stars and planets at the time of your birth. Suppose you’re going to have a carefree, fuck-it-all summer season? Sorry betch, but Mars has other programs. Trying to focus on something than hookups for once in their own lives? Venus says “no fucking way.” Honestly, it’s kind of beautiful. Just practice this phrase, and your summer is likely to be perfect: “sorry for what I told when Saturn was in my sign.”


Even though warmer temps on the horizon have you wanting to really chill out, preferably with a margarita and next to a swimming pool, the stars have a different plan for you. Your pace is going to accelerate in the coming four weeks as projects and due dates start piling up. Fucking bullshit, we know. The good news is, because of the placement of Mars, your sovereign, you’re going to get right to the point in all your grapples. Your man, your friends, and your boss better come remedy because you’ll have no problem telling it like it is this week. That’s for damn sure.


You likely already know, but out of all the signs, you’re the absolute best at handling your finances. In the next four weeks, you’ll have Lil’ Wayne in your head saying “Moolah baby! ” as you’re genuinely working towards a life of cashing checks and violating necks, without the transgres necks proportion, obvi. You’ll be more aggressive in your deal-making and negotiating activities. If you feel like you’ve got too much built up angst , now is the best time to take up boxing or Krav Maga. Like, you really need to liberate some tension before you break someone’s actual neck.

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Once a year, the Sun is in your sign for four weeks and yassss betch, this is your time! You know what that signifies? Well un-buckle the fucking around, because it’s going to be smooth ride for the month ahead. Not only will you be journeying the high of having your birthday, you’ll likewise be get a lot more attention, and who among us doesn’t crave more attention? That’s right, everybody wants to be the sun of the depict and that’s you rn, basically. Bring on the endowments, treats and compliments.


For the next four weeks, the sunshine goes into hiding in your chart. Chill out, this happens to basically every sign right before their birthday. It takes some of “members attention” off you so that you can assess where you are in life and what you crave as far as aims go. It likewise gives you a breach to plan the perfect birthday extravaganza. Lucky for you, when the sunshine is hiding in Cancer, it doesn’t wreck your shit as badly as it could if only we a different sign. So, at the least you have that going for you.

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The next four weeks could be the most popular period of the year for you, and it isn’t even your birthday. Leos are pretty goddamned lucky when it comes to good vibes even when it’s not their birthday month. Anyway, your exuberance and charming personality are going to attract more people to your social circle. Do not be surprised if the amount of Facebook event summons you receive in the next month is somewhat overwhelming. Just respond “maybe” to every one just in case better comes along.


The sun is at the very tip-top of your chart for the next four weeksbasically, it’s acting like a spotlight shining down on you and your actions. So even though you’ll get a lot more attention, your missteps is likely to be merely that much more visible too. Keep your Insta caption game strong and spell check your tweets. Also, perhaps don’t tweet something super controversial. That’s what saving things in drafts is for, duh. So you can go back and decide if it’s actually funny or merely kind of pathetic. It’s not like what you say could get you burnt from run( I hope ), but it might get you roasted of the working group chat.

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Get ready to feel content AF for the next four weeks. You’ll likely have that weird thought like something bad is right around the corner or that you’re constantly forgetting something. Just calm your tits. Everything is actually altogether fine. Everyone around you is more likely to be totes supportive of their own lives options. Even your significant other is super attentive and mindful of your needs. Don’t let your anxiety about things going too well attain you act up. Just fucking enjoy their own lives for a bit.


Down girl, down. Spring fever is reaching the Scorpio betch hard as your sexual desire is in overdrive for the next four weeks. That could either be really sexy or genuinely sketchy, depending on how you go about it. Just because you feel the advise, doesn’t mean you should risk your health and safety by tryna hookup with every rando with a Tinder account. Most signs feel like winter is cuffing/ snuggling season, but the Scorpio is looking for more than merely a summer fling. You crave a dude that can keep abreast with* cough* pay for* cough* your summer programs. Suppose long-ish term when you’re swiping for a match.

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Time for an extra coffee and maybe a few extra Lexapros. Fiery Mars is opposite your sign for the next few weeks, intending you’re most likely to get extra fucking vexed with others. The Sun is also immediately opposite your sign so you need more remainder. Even though there is no such thing as a happy camper, you definitely aren’t one this week. That’s for damn sure. The good news is Venus is constructing you more romantic and inclined to go out and party. So take every nap you are able to so you can appease your fun side as much as possible.


You know that stupid Pinterest quote about “keeping your heels, head and standards high”? Well that’s clich and genuinely fucking bothering, but it’ll kind of prescribe your next four weeks. Bear with me here as I explain. Mars will help you stay organized and super drive for the next month. Your desire to succeed will push you to keep your standard for excellence up while also becoming you into a mentor for others. Feel free to share your knowledge and expertise as long as you don’t do it by posting a clich AF caption over a thirst trap pic on Instagram.

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Get that VSCO account ready: The next month is the best time for you to take vacation, attend parties, and, basically, live your more good life. Your responsibilities are at a minimum and your overall vibe is merely generally cool and fun. Likewise, you don’t have a lot of super pressing deadlines coming up in the next months, so if you want to play sick a few days and enjoy the nice climate, you can totally do that without too many people saying “Boo, you whore”.


You’ve been fairly focused on the idea that you need to settle TF down and spouse up, pop out some kids, shit like that. Even though the engagement bulletins choking up your social feeds abound, you actually have a lot more to accomplish before you buy a wifey T-shirt and get, like, really boring. This month, it’s important to focus on what you want to do before you really give up all your freedom for the American Dream or whatever it is you think you’re chasing.

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