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Last week, I did a breakdown of all the contestants on. The Betches liked the point of view enough to ask me to give the average straight guy opinion on some other topics. This is the first one they mailed:

What Guys Think Of Each Dating App/ Site. Is it true-life that Bumble is for guys who are looking for something “more serious”? What do guys think of a girl who’s on Tinder vs. Bumble vs. Hinge, etc? Which one do guys like best?

These the issue of dating apps give guys style too much credit. Frankly, we are on these apps to have sex first and then pleased to meet you after. I know that sucks to read, but its simply the style we work. Youll see in the breakdown below that guys adoration Bumble because its unlimited chances to maybe have sex. And the girls who want to maybe have sex literally come up to you and mention, OOHH ME! ME! Guys generally dont like the apps that limit that they are able to get likes and matches and ego boosts, but those are the apps a girl should join if they crave a boyfriend. I feel comfy writing this because its a largely female audience. Hopefully there isnt a group of angry dudes with brass knuckles waiting to beat me up outside of this library I write at.

Heres the breakdown 😛 TAGEND


What Guys Think Of You: You’re a girl in a major city. You go to brunch with your girl children and share screenshots of horrible Bumble conversations. You text V instead of Very. You wear sneakers home from operate. You adoration all things Bravo and youve shared five Real Housewives gifs today. You crave a boyfriend but you kind of like the attention involved in not having a boyfriend. You’ll hook up and the guy will end it and youll blame it on guys being fuckboys and not the fact that the age at first matrimony statistic has risen by four years and you simply weren’t the match.

What Guys Think Of The App : strong> We adoration it. It was started as a feminist app but it candidly made a guy’s life easier. We can swipe during every poop until we find a girl who will meet up late nighttime. Since the girls “re going to have to” message us, it cuts down the time from swipe to vagina. It’s a more willing purchaser than excavating through the haystack that is Tinder.

Why Guys Join : strong> To have sex and worry about whether we like the person later.

Why You Should Join: If you want to have fun and have the mental ability to be casual, and I don’t mean that in the I’m so low maintenance except I packed 10 suitcases for a weekend type of way.

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What Guys Think Of You: You’re not living in a major city, and “if youre trying to”, you have a tattoo about a dead ex-boyfriend. You have sweatpants with something written on the butt. You call an elder aunt or uncle or grandparent, Papi or Mami. You also weirdly mention Papi to your buffs. You simply found out about rompers and you’re like, five years from finding out there’s a male version. You think avocado toast is simply avocado on toast. You use the app from a phone that texts in green and you don’t understand why people would care.

What Guys Think Of The App: We are use it if we are in a town that Bumble options run out halfway through a poop. It’s great but it’s candidly too much. Thanks to our incredible ego, every match is an option and that either means too many dates or no dates at all since we are spinning too many plates.

Why Guys Join: To have sex with a stranger with a cursive tattoo whose could be part of a fun narrative to tell our friends.

Why You Should Join : strong> If you crave an STD.

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What Guys Think Of You: Youve had it with dating apps. Youre done with the games. Youre sick of pen pals. Youve stood up at a recent brunch and dedicated a soliloquy on modern date and the perils swiping has on our brains. You didnt even enjoy the pancakes you guys get that day. Youre a little older. A little wiser. Your last 30 labelled scenes are from bridals “youre in”. The last bridal you attended was a couple that satisfied on Hinge. And thats why youre here.

What Guys Think Of The App : strong> We are dealing with it. Sure, its nice to have more information. But theres only so many likes in a period. So we arent simply liking anything. Theres less girls to talk to so we have to be really sure about going out which means we are forced into liking the conversation.

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Why Guys Join : strong> Because they were spending too much hour on Bumble and Hinge is like a Weight Watchers portion controlled bite of being out there.

Why You Should Join : strong> Youll find a guy thats in lower levels of a cum-filled rage.


What Guys Think Of You : strong> You simply broke up with your boyfriend or youre currently under a fight or youre on a bachelorette party.

What Guys Think Of The App: We like the idea of it. You can have things happen promptly. But we know its simply too easy. An app that lets us fulfill person we walked by and thought was hot? Its like determining a $20 in the timbers. This has to be a trap.

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Why Guys Join: Theyre addicted to dating apps.

Why You Should Join : strong> If its been so long since youve had sex that youve made your vibrator a epithet and tape it to your pillow to cuddle with afterwards.

Coffee Meets Bagel

What Guys Think Of You : strong> Your mommy genuinely wants you to settle down. Your friends arent simply all marriage but theyre pregnant. Youre hanging out with girls from operate who are younger just so you can go out and they all call you their mommy. Everything on Facebook bothers you and Instagram isnt much fun either. You thought this was a app for Jews and candidly, you dont even care what it is anymore as long as it works.

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What Guys Think Of The App : strong> We are dealing. It gives you so little girls that you really have to read each profile and do your due diligence. Its fine and there are girls here but not many. We wish the conversations we had here happened more on other apps but thats likely our fault.

Why Guys Join: To fulfill person so that they stop having a sleepless nighttime every time theres an ingrown hair.

Why You Should Join: To find a boyfriend in the safest online style possible.


What Guys Think Of You: Youre living in a hipster part of town. You adoration telling people about your hipster part of town. Your mothers still pay your rent. You work at a Starbucks but you tell people “youre working in” the arts. Youre too cool for dating apps but youre still here anyway.

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What Guys Think Of The App : strong> We adoration it because we get to talk seriously about all the other people on apps while still being able to be on an app.

Why Guys Join : strong> To have sex with a girl who can teach us about feminism.

Why You Should Join: If you like being the alpha bird-dog in a relationship and you own one of those vagina hats from the marches.

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